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Information Resources: Articles, annotated multimedia materials, research
The Child Safety Booklet
Based on a publication by the New Orleans Violence and Children Intervention Project

Stage One

Numbing

Symptoms
  • Shock
  • Sorrow
  • Anger & Guilt
  • Automatic handling of routine
Needs
  • Allow child to be dependent on others.
  • Avoid dwelling on gory details children may not understand.
  • Expect night terrors.
  • Child may need others to take care of daily tasks. Communicate to child "It's not your fault," this message is especially critical in domestic violence.
  • Permit child to be self-pitying, remote.
  • Let the child ask endless questions. Your answers can be supportive even though you cannot always be reassuring.
  • Do not chide, scoff, belittle, or joke about the child's feelings.
  • Ask direct questions like "Are you thinking of hurting someone?"
  • Allow opportunities for release of anger as well as anxiety. Respect times for crying, wailing, praying, silence.
  • Specify certain times to attend to tasks at home, school, or elsewhere.
  • Ease up on academic expectations for older children.


Stage Two

Disorganization

Symptoms
  • Need to talk about the deceased at length.
  • Acute loneliness
  • Disorganization, irrational thoughts
  • Deep depression, aimlessness, apathy, extreme fatigue, anxiety, anger, tightness in throat, loss of sleep, clinging to deceased's possessions
Needs
  • Intimacy with friends, children and family.
  • Help children sort out their values; make it important to fill each day with as much love as they can hold.
  • Allow child to be distracted.
  • Allow child to express feelings.


Stage Three

Re-Organization

Symptoms
  • Feelings less intense
  • Acute loneliness
  • Appetite improves
  • New interests, energy, less anxious, accepting loss
Needs
  • Encourage child to increase activities, play and work.
  • Encourage child to play with friends and make new friends.
  • Acknowledge the growth that results from grief.


Back to Child Safety Book Table of Contents

Early Head Start National Resource Center @ ZERO TO THREE
2000 M. Street, NW, Suite 200
Washington, DC 20036
202-638-1144 Fax 202-638-0851

This Web site was developed for the Office of Head Start by ZERO TO THREE: National Center for Infants, Toddlers, and Families, under contract No. HHSP23320042900YC from the Administration on Children, Youth and Families; Administration for Children and Families; U. S. Department of Health and Human Services, to operate the Early Head Start National Resource Center.